I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
