How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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