He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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