Sponge bath it is.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have aggressive nipples.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
