She's JV to your varsity
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
