I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
high people should be assigned attendants
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize