What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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