I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
pop tarts are not kleenex
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
