haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
