her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
