Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
