I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
