New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
