turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize