spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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