Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I AM VODKA MAN
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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