Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
