I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
