garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
