I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
