i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
