So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
