i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
