So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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