You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
