So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
