so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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