her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
