oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
