I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
