I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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