dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
