You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
