You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
