they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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