Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
This can only be settled by a dance off.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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