why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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