Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
