I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
