I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
