That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
