Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
