Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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