The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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