I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
