The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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