hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
