She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
