How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
