just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
