Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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