If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
