non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
