Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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