Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
4 words: hood of his car
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
