so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
