Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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