Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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