Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
