a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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