I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
