...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
